Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Harlot Halloween

Even though I spend my days writing or editing, life DOES go on. And we writers are moms, wives, daughters, employees, and must participate.
As I set out to buy my 10-year-old innocent cherub a Halloween costume, I envisioned her as a princess or pop star, preferably a teeny-bopping singer who wears clothes and hasn’t been in rehab or prison.
Oh, but no. The winged fairy outfits nor the ballerina suits did a thing for her pre-teen tastes.
She and her friends marched straight for the gigantic Hoochie Mama Section of this particular Halloween mega-mart. The mannequin capturing my girl’s eyes dazzled upon long thin legs, thigh-high boots and a snug as Spandex “Batgirl” outfit that would have Robin running for the hills and screaming, “Alert! Estrogen! Alert!”
I thought the getup was for grownups but was dead wrong. Children’s Halloween costumes this year have become racy, sexy and not the Snow White suits of yesteryear.
There’s always been the harlot fare for adults, such as the French Maid suit, the Playboy bunny costume and other revealing garments those with great bodies can’t wait to wear to parties while they sip from a cauldron of potent punch.
But lately, the trend seems to be stitching up some mini-skirts over in China or India and shipping them over here for our prepubescent babes to parade around in.
“I want that ‘Batgirl’ costume,’” my daughter begged.
“You’ll freeze,” I said. “Plus it’s not Batgirl. It’s Bat Hussy.”
“It’s no skimpier than my swimsuit,” she protested as only the young can do, those who are as good at manipulating as sneaky lawyers.
“Well, we’re not going swimming, now are we? We are going trick-or-treating in 30-degree weather. I’m not buying that Lexington Avenue outfit.”
“You’re mean. I don’t know what you’re talking about so I’m not speaking to you.”
“Fine. Sounds reasonable. But if you do decide to talk, there’s a darling little nun’s suit over on aisle 4. How fun is that? We can put some wings on it and you can be the Flying Nun.”
Her eyes roved toward a costume called “High Seas Hotties.”
Not a good sign so says the American Psychological Association that has shown adult-themed sexuality is marketed more and more to kids at younger ages. The study also revealed this early parade of young girls’ bodies could be linked to eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression.
The study concluded parents could be protective and positive role models.
“OK, missy. I have an idea. You can go as a moose and I’ll go as Sarah Palin.”
“I don’t want to be a moose. No one will see me or know who I am.”
“Yes, but you’ll be warm.”
“Look around, mother. Do you see a moose costume here?”
I was afraid to go down aisle 7. It wouldn’t surprise me to see partial fur, perhaps made into a string-bikini, a couple of antlers and a sign on a costume that said, “Sexiest Moose in Alaska.”
“I can sew you a moose suit.”
“You can’t sew.”
“You’re right. So I have a better idea. I’ll be Sarah and you can be Obama.”
Susan Reinhardt is the author of “Not Tonight Honey Wait ‘Til I’m a Size Six,” “Don’t Sleep with a Bubba,” and “Dishing with the Kitchen Virgin,” her latest.
This is the opinion of Susan Reinhardt. Contact her at

1 comment:

The Pulpwood Queen said...

Hang in there Susan, a couple more years and your daughter will think Halloween costumes are lame. One year my oldest daughter was a pirate wench and then bam, dressing up was as my youngest put it, "That's gay.". I have no idea what she meant by that but not what you think, I was informed it meant lame or stupid.
Now if I hadn't been burning rubber to drive my Inferno red Pacific to the Texas Book Festival to speak, my husband and I were going as a "Dancing with the Stars" couple, to the Monster Mash here in Jefferson, Texas. I was thinking Juliane and the Disney kid but my daughters informed me we would be more Cloris and Corky. Okay, okay, so we are so, "That's gay", whatever!
Hope you had a Happy Halloweenie!
The Pulpwood Queen