We were supposed to talk about rejection, but I have been on retreat and missed the memo and came home and realized OOPS I AM UP. SO...I will instead tell you
Things to Do on Writing Retreat
1) Choose a bird totem. If your bird totem is spotted, this mean excellent word count Mojo and good plot idea Juju is sure to descend upon you. If you have even the most rudimentary understanding of Ornithology, you can stack the deck to CAUSE Mojo/Juju. I, for example was on retreat by the sea. I chose a pelican, so Mojo descended and dive bombed for fishes every four minutes.
My friend, an altogether ballsier object, chose Ravens. I thought she might be shafted, but apparently, the folks at this hotel drop bits of Raven approved sandwiches with promiscuous abandon, and the place was all OVER ravens.
2) Talk about people the other person does not know, because if the other person does not KNOW them, it escapes the Pernicious Sin of Gossip clause. I think. Well, maybe not. But MAYBE. I decided yes. The Pelicans backed me.
Me: Maybe she should try match.com?
Her: Oh NO! Never. She won’t go on the internet.
Me: You mean, she won’t go on the internet to look for dates?
Her: No. I mean…she won’t go ON the internet.
Her: Seriously, she has an iphone, and IT is willing to go on the internet, but she only uses the PHONE part.
Me: What does she think the i in iphone MEANS?
Her: Perhaps she thinks it is a personal pronoun.
Me: So…wait. Then I can BLOG this?
Her: Why not.
3) Discover lizards. We discovered MANY MANY kinds of here-to-fore unknown beach lizards, including, but not limited to:
Orange Head Lizard
Skinny Black Lizard with Daring Yellow Stripe
Too Fast To See Probable Lizard
Stupid Lizard Who Wants To Die in a Hot Tub (rescued!)
Frivolous Curly Tail Sprouncy Lizard.
4) Discover New Cocktails. I personally discovered a Pom Tree. It has about 90 things in it. All of them are good.
5) Take pictures of your glamorous view and text it to Patti Callahan Henry so she can text back that she hates you and then you can text back that you would love to talk more about this but the beautiful oiled cabana boy is ready to begin your poolside foot massage.
6) If you get really, really, really desperate, you can write.
The good news is?
We must have both been REALLY desperate quite a bit.
We both made massive progress on the books. I got 13,500+ words drafted, and I have a clear idea of where to go next.
Also? We saved a lizard. Total success.
New York Times Bestselling novelist Joshilyn Jackson lives in Powder Springs, Georgia with her husband, their two kids, a hound dog, a scurrilous Boggart-cat, one alive Beta fish, and a twenty-two pound, one-eyed Main Coon cat named Franz Schubert. She wishes their neighborhood was zoned for goats.
Her latest book is The Girl Who Stopped Swimming, and Entertainment Weekly called it “a wild, smartly calibrated achievement." It makes a great hostess-best friend-teacher gift, and plus your mom told me she wants a copy, so you should definitely run right out and get a couple. Oh heck, get three, they are small.